The Regenerative Hat Trick

Sheryl hand-knitted a toque specifically to accommodate my modest cranium. It appears ordinary, but the wool is imbued with quantum particles from the unified field of love—a specialized weave intended to prevent brain mets. Notably, the trim is decorated to seal the field and facilitate maximum entanglement.

The brain is a vital organ, certainly, but one must account for the rest of the biological enterprise. This is where the aquarium’s new exhibit comes in: the axolotls. Given their uncanny ability to regenerate lost limbs, I’ve swapped traditional psychotherapy for a series of clinical consultations with the smiling salamanders.

A second opinion on regeneration